The internets confuse me

Okay. I love the CBC and they air this show called "The Tudors" which is pretty saucy when people aren't being tortured and having their heads cut off. So, what I do is, I hook my laptop up to my 42" tv (which really isn't a tv, it's a monitor) and I think "I will download an episode and watch it because I'm really bored since I dropped a fork off the balcony and hit someone on the head and they were taken to the hospital and an unwitting sap who happened to be out barbequing on his balcony at about the same time was subsequently arrested". Anyways, you know how if you have a slow internet connection you can start to play a video and then just let it run and buffer and all and then just slide the thing back to start and watch it unimpeded? Well that doesn't happen on the CBC. You can only watch the episodes with a fast connection. It'll let you buffer for like, two minutes, but then you're like, "I'm not doing this 23 times even though I think I might get to see Jonathan Rhys Meyers get all hot and steamy playing... that guy that cut Anne Boleyn's head off. Goddamn my knowledge of history sucks".

The point being that my internet connection sucks but I refuse to pay more for it (I think I currently pay $20 or $25 a month) because I think that all forms of communication should be a shitload cheaper than what they are. I understand that we Canucks are getting rooked on our cell phone bills. I pay close to $60 a month and I have a shit phone with a basic plan. WTF? I love the CRTC fee. I hope part of it goes to subsidize the making of "The Tudors" which I can't watch cause I'm too poor to shell out $40 for an internet connection.

When I was single, living in Kerrisdale I totally hijacked someone's unsecured wireless network. It was awesome. It was slow, but satisfying. Which reminds me: I haven't had sex in a great number of days. One of the super perks of marathoning. You're either too sore, too tired or too pressed for time because you're working out 5 days a week. It's right up there with foot cramps, gagging on gels and trying to fit into mainstream society when your face is streaked with salt residue. Marathoning: no sport is sexier.

It's 8:10 and I'm still bored. Fucking internet. Anyways, I had sent my brother an email earlier today thanking him for lending me the BBC "Planet Earth" series and asking how he was doing finding a tenant for his basement suite. I was laughing out loud when I got his email, the snippets of which are:

"I do have a new tenant, I think. He's 30, works as a software development supervisor, or some shit, reenacts medieval wars, and plays dungeons and dragons. I know he's home when his car is parked out front. I don't hear him pull up, close his car door, open or close the back door or make any noise period. I think he is full of shit, he's a navy seal spy from the states, trained in stealth.

I don't remember the last one being a downer [I had asked if I should watch the last BBC DVD which has such titles as "Saving Species" and "Living Together" which I'm convinced is going to show mass devastation and lots of dead, mangled animals]. Did you see the one with the pores that make the ants climb trees and die and shit sprouts from their head? WTF. Seriously, I think they put that in there to see what we would believe."

Yep, for a 26 year old, my brother is a pretty with it, funny, smart guy. I'm really lucky to be related to such an individual. He still leaves messages on my phone saying, "Hey. It's your little brother calling" and he's six feet tall. Still flinches when I make sudden movements in his general direction.

As it should be.