I'm not your friend, buddy. I'm not your buddy, guy. I'm not your guy, friend.

Where did I leave off? Friday night, methinks. Saturday I slept until 12:30pm. Then Michael and I went to see my mom in her new condo in Kits. It was really nice. The views were out of this world. My brother and Andrea were also there which was fantastic because we get together much, much less often than I would like. We all kind of pitched in and accomplished some minor things that my mom had on her to-do list. I hope we can help her out a lot more in the future since she's a lot closer to us now.
Okay. Then I drank a bottle of wine and gave my "we're all fucked" speech. I mean, we're all fucked. Our education system, the media, language, the environment, the new and bastardized concept of democracy and our new found addiction to all things trite and materialistic are why I had a tubuligation a few years ago. We're so far off base it's retarded. I didn't create this fucking mess and I don't subscribe to it and it renders me virtually catatonic on a regular basis.
That's great. I think I've been giving this speech (in various forms) for a number of years now. Super great for the people around me. Very uplifting and happy-making. And? Shit, or get off the pot. I'm not going to lead a revolutionary, anarchist movement. Yeah, I'm pretty much not going to do much except encourage people to vote Green, seek out alternative media, educate themselves and not be such consumers. I try and recycle a lot. Most of it is wine bottles.
I don't have the balls or the energy to make the changes that I would like to see in society. So I need to stop whining about the state we're in. I don't understand why gays can't get married in all of the United States. I am astounded that people think that Obama is a terrorist, or has links to terrorism. I still can't comprehend the Holocaust. It's 2008 and women don't earn as much as their male counterparts and are sexually harassed and abused and we sort of accept it by making comments like, "Well, she was rather scantily dressed/drunk/deserving of it". People still use wooden stir sticks. You've made it if you drive an expensive, foreign car.
Okay. I wash my hands of it. I can't change it. I will do my thing and live my life the way I think it ought to be led but I can't keep on rallying against the world. Hi: I'm one chick.
This morning I drank my coffee and looked at Michael, sitting across from me, next to the cool coffee table that my dad made in high school that I commandeered when my mom moved out of our childhood home, and I said, "It's really exhausting always raging and stressing and fighting about things. I'm really tired. It takes a lot of energy."
I'm not having kids! Who the fuck cares? If anyone should be driving a Hummer or finding tax loopholes that fuck over subsequent generations - it's me! I need to let it go, since I'm not going to do much about it except write angry letters and vote whenever I can. Did I mention I recycle and I've made a very concerted effort to consume less? I'm 31. I'll be here for another 40 or 50 or 60 years. Or not. I could get creamed by a bus tomorrow (cool news: we found out that, if you have a monthly bus pass, you get to take a "guest" with you on Sundays and holidays, so Michael got to ride transit with me for free all day which I think is super, super cool).
I'm pissing people off with my negative energy and thoughts and rants. I've got a few decades to enjoy all that life has to offer (like the site that offers all the South Park episodes for free, and puppies) and I've already killed one relationship over it and I need to change my way of thinking.
Unless I'm going to quit my job, sell all my worldly possessions, and try and overthrow the government, I'm going to have to make due with my current career, weight, accomplishments, looks, noisy elevator, bad wines, ignorant CNN watchers, marathon times, and people that use a chunk of wood to stir the organic honey into their $2.50 cup of coffee before throwing it into the garbage.
So. Here's to good wine, uplifting conversation, Jon Stewart, public transit, solar panels, great sex, coffee, South Park, CBC, friends, family, the Green Party, John Ralston Saul, Margret Atwood, sunny afternoons, tapas, being strong enough to run marathons, people that don't suck, recycling (I don't think I mentioned that, on the BC Ferries coming back from Lasqueti, I grabbed a coffee at the coffee shop there and noticed the woman next to me was using a wooden stir stick and before I even thought about it I said, "Can I use that before you throw it out?" and she initially looked at me as though I was insane and then she realized how much sense it made and so she gave it to me and I used it and then I threw it out and I felt good because I hadn't contributed to any waste, and I had just given her a crash course in "the things we take for granted and, perhaps, shouldn't waste as freely as we do"), blogging, intelligence, democracy, language, independent thought, eschewing tradition and materialism, laughter, tiger lilies, danish modern furniture, good music, sleep, showering together to save water and attempting to be secure and happy in one's own skin.