I actually had anxiety-ridden dreams last night due to today's scheduled 19 mile run. It wasn't that I had to run 19 miles, but that the clinic was only doing 10 and so I would have to continue on for another 9. Running long distances is mental enough, but when everyone you're running with is stopping for coffee and you have put on some music, refuel and then run away from them, alone, well, that takes some doing.
I actually had no idea if I was going to be able to accomplish it as I left everyone (and my car) behind and started out. I knew it was an important run to finish because I have three 20 mile runs coming up and they will be predominately alone. And it was sunny. And I was listening to the new Elbow album. And there's been a lot of talk of "mantras" at the clinic these days and people ask what mine is and I'm always kind of flippant and say "ow, ow, ow" or "make the pain stop" and when I say that I see the light in their eyes dim a little because they don't get that I'm a little more sardonic than most, but really my mantra is "you do this all the time" and I calculate how many miles I have left and I know how long it will take me to run it and I say "you've got 25 minutes to go" even though I've been running for two hours and twenty minutes, but whatever.
I did it. I was even on the verge of singing along with Paolo Nutini as I came down St. Andrews.
Suck it, gremlins.
Then I lay on my couch for a long time.
Now I have to walk down to Michael's cause he has my goddamn car.
I could've planned this bit slightly better.
2 comments:
My eyes are brimming! My mantra when I used to walk everyday was more of a theme song. I'd hum, sing whatever you want to call it, the theme from Jaws. The minute I'd see someone in front of me, dum dum, dum dum, dum dum dum dum dum..... until I was on their back and then I'd scare the shit out of them. Try it! It's crazy how much ground you can cover.
LOL. I always think of Tea Leoni from "Spanglish" screaming "On your left! ON YOUR LEFT!".
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