Saturday, January 22, 2011

C'est fini. Mostly.

And thus chronicles my life since my father died.
I just listed out a litany of the things I have done and not done in the past two and a half years, but I'm not sure why I did that, and so I deleted it.
I did things that, possibly, I should not have done. But I don't regret them.
And there were things that I had deigned to do and didn't. I do regret them.
I like this picture. It was taken in June 2008. During the time that I was up at Lasqueti my father chastised me for not changing out of my damp gear after a run, but I assured him I knew what I was doing.
A week or two ago I had a dream about him. We were driving up his driveway at Lasqueti and he was wearing that green sweater - I don't know where it is now - anyways, at some point during this dream I came to realize or remember that when I woke up he would be gone and so I had this one singular opportunity of clarity to say whatever it was that I wanted to say to him. So I turned to him and I said as clearly as I could, "I love you, Dad".

3 comments:

Big D said...

You look great in that picture. What a lovely story. You made my eyes leak a bit.

judith said...

I agree with Big D, on the picture and on the leaky eyes.

Duder said...

It was a nice dream to have.