She’s out for lunch with Ryan. He took an immediate liking to her when she started with the company three years ago. He works in the sales department and is quite successful. It’s not hard to see why: he has a confident face – almost arrogant – with a strong chin and aquiline nose. This is softened by his warm brown eyes, fringed with long lashes and a sensual mouth with a full lower lip. More often than not this mouth is smirking. Maddy doesn’t like his hair, though. She feels he keeps it too short.
It was their wry sense of humor that brought them together at first (after she was able to get past his preppy mannerisms and learn that there was more to him than his “I was so fucking pissed last weekend” stories). They both have a deadpan delivery and a lot of people in the office never know when they’re kidding, so opt for a non-committal, nervous laugh, afraid of missing out on a potential joke.
Maddy realizes that Ryan finds her attractive. He’s never told her this, but even she, with her horrible intuition, is able to deduce it. She’s a little surprised by this. She’s seen the various women he has brought to the smattering of work functions over the years. They are always tall and have long hair; this seems to be a prerequisite. They are cool, attractive, confident, well dressed. He always leans towards them over drinks or dinner and whispers something conspiratorial in their ear, too close to their neck and their eyes light up with a twinkle of intimacy.
Maddy feels she is average. She isn’t tall, she’s a little on the thin side. She has curly, dark brown hair which is her best feature; in certain lights it emits a fiery auburn sheen. Her nose is too small and coupled with her rosebud mouth it gives her an impish, vaguely uppity look.
Ryan asks how it’s going with Jonathan. One thing Maddy likes about her relationship with Ryan is that they are friendlier than acquaintances but they are not intimate friends. Their relationship is confined to work and work-related outings. It’s because of this that she can confess things, unload things on Ryan that she doesn’t feel comfortable doing with her close friends. Ryan doesn’t judge her. He’s not close enough to her to be anything more than an impartial observer.
To bug her, Ryan asks periodically when she is going to have babies because he knows she doesn’t want kids. Maddy asks him the same question knowing the he does want children, but asks it to illustrate his playboy lifestyle and his inability to date anyone for more than six months.
Maddy pauses before answering Ryan’s question and Ryan says, “That good, is it?”
She sighs and feels like she’s badmouthing Jonathan but continues anyways. “He’s just never home anymore. He’s working hard and the last thing he needs is for me to add more pressure. It’s just hard, that’s all,” she finishes lamely, polishing off the last of her gomae.
“Well, maybe you guys will have a fucking fantastic weekend,” Ryan says, spreading his hands apart questioningly. He uses the word 'fuck' a lot, which leads many people to think he’s uncouth and uneducated (she thought this when she first met him), when in fact he’s very smart and is often surprisingly articulate.
Maddy snorts. “He told me this morning that he has to work on Saturday.”
Ryan looks at her, giving her the opportunity to vent some more if she so chooses. She returns his gaze, feeling guilty for complaining about her boyfriend who has only ever been kind and considerate towards her.
“Whatever,” she says, shaking it off. “How’s… Kirsten?” she asks, struggling to remember the current girlfriend’s name.
“It’s off,” he replies abruptly.
“Really? Why?” Maddy asks, genuinely interested but not at all surprised. One some level she feels sorry for these girls. She can imagine what Ryan must be like when he pursues them, turns on the charm. He’s a good looking, athletic, successful guy with great taste in clothes, his own apartment in Kits and a BA from UBC. She wonders what he says to them to woo them, to make them feel his is sincere. If they knew his history, would they still consider a relationship with him? Would they think that they would be the one with whom he would fall in love?
Ryan is chewing a spicy tuna roll and making hurry-up motions with his hands. She waits patiently, casting a glace around the restaurant jam-packed with downtown worker bees looking for a quick, cheap lunch with the option of a Sapporo.
“She got pissed off over all my friends,” Ryan finally manages. Ryan’s friends are mostly women. A high proportion of them are ex-girlfriends which Maddy finds amazing. She has burned almost all her bridges with ex-lovers.
“But what happened? She must have noticed that you have a lot of girlfriends, what was the tipping point?”
“Ah. She got all bent out of shape because I was supposed to meet up with her and her friends at some fucking club downtown – and I said I would – but one of my friends was having a birthday party and I wanted to stop in there first for a couple of drinks, so I ended up being late, which somehow translated into me not being committed or responsible or whatever the fuck she called me.”
Maddy raises her eyebrows and sips her tea. “And? What happened then?”
Ryan is silent for a moment and then grins wickedly. “I told her I was sorry for being late, and that I was looking for a girlfriend, not a nagging wife, and then I went back to my friend’s party, got tanked and slept with one of her friends.”
“That’s fantastic,” Maddy murmurs, finishing her last California roll.
“Isn’t it?” Ryan asks, laughing. “It gets better though. So Kirsten realizes she’s been a bit of a bitch and shows up at my place with a couple of cups of coffee on Sunday morning. Of course I can’t invite her up because I’ve got a girl in my bed, so I go down to the lobby and tell her thanks for the sentiment, but I was really turned off by her behavior the night before and I think she’s a lovely girl but that it’s better if we jut be friends.”
“Unbelievable,” Maddy responds, shaking her head. Until she had met Ryan, she did not believe that people like this existed.
“And the new girl?” Maddy asks.
“Janine,” Ryan says. “She seems super cool: we’re going to see a movie tonight.”
“I love the way you do everything backwards,” she tells him.
“I think it’s good to sleep with each other right off the bat,” he says honestly. “You get rid of all that nasty sexual tension, plus you get to figure out if they’re good in bed or not.”
“Of course. Makes absolute sense,” Maddy says with mock sincerity. “Have you ever had a woman tell you that she wasn’t into you sexually after spending the night?” Maddy pries.
“God no,” he laughs. “They’re always coming back for more.”
She finds herself looking at his mouth and wondering, between his posturing and bravado, how happy he really is.
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