See? Here I am.

Alright. Forging ahead with this whole business of being positive.
I had an interesting thought today: I spend a lot of time making up negative scenarios that don't exist. I worry about things that don't happen. And, while existing in this non-reality, actual bad things happen that I'm not always expecting. The crux is this: you won't know when that abysmally shitty thing is going to happen - it'll come out of left field, randomly one day. The rest of the time? Smile. Life is fantastic (I'm not being facetious).

Okay, maybe I had two interesting thoughts. The second was that I have made some pretty big changes in my life over the past year. I stopped raging against things I can't change and I have tried to be a more relaxed person. I did this because I know that my rants and tirades were both negative and frustrating to the people around me. And then the other day my mom made a comment that I never appear to be happy. And she's right. I know that me being an angry person makes people around me feel like they're walking on eggshells and I've really tried hard to overcome that. But I realize I also need to get myself happy. That should actually be first and foremost because who wants to be around someone who is confused and morose?

I think I did a good job nixing the raging and, given my ability to quell my rage, I do believe I should be able to put the same initiative in to becoming more happy. It won't be easy, but practice makes perfect. Furthermore? I am just so tired of being morose. It really saps one's energy.

And? Another weird thought came up in regards to marathoning. Marathoning is hard. If you had asked me, five or ten years ago, if I would ever contemplate running a marathon I would've fallen off my chair laughing. Now I've run three of them, all with decent times and I'm going to Boston in a three months. If I can force myself to train several times a week and have the mental fortitude to get out there and run a 3:39 marathon, then I do believe that I can accomplish most things.

It's like the Statistics course I took in college. I used to do this thing where I would purchase the textbook for the course, crack it open to a random page near the end and say "in four months I will be able to do this without thinking". Well, when I cracked open that Stats text I just about shit. I was on the verge of hyperventilating. It wasn't just numbers and letters, there were like, weird symbols and whatnot and I couldn't fathom how I would ever be able to figure it out. But I figured it out, and with aplomb. I wound up with an A or an A+ in the course - can't remember.

So I have physically and mentally challenged myself and I have surpassed my expectations both times. Why not intellectually and emotionally?

I need to stop mentally languishing in such emotionally negative territory.

And where there is negativity? I need to root it out from my life.

Oh yeah, and I need to switch to Vancity from the Bank of Montreal cause they're really facking me over on their service fees.