This blog is from one year ago today. It was called "Hopen for some Caulking". I've been in my apartment for a year and a day. I know you care.

First, a quick ode to Michael. Why in the hell he has spent the last two days with me unpacking, fixing, assembling and building things is beyond me. In return for hours and hours of his skilled labour I have given him two pre-packaged sandwiches, half a parfait, some cookies, and some crappy pasta. So here is a poem to go down in the annals of history:

Thank you for spending grotesque amounts of time with me on Friday and Saturday,
And for bringing me coffee this morning cause you know I didn't have any,
It was fun trying to figure out why I didn't have any hot water in my shower,
And I'm glad you like my picture/art placement so far,
How you were able to pick up that heavy Hopen piece single handedly is beyond me,
I think you were just showing off; I carried the baskets.
Here's Hopen you can come back tomorrow because the weird Ikea literature indicates I am not to assemble my new bed by myself.
Plus you know I'll butcher the chest of drawers.
I can't cook, but maybe I can pick up a cooked chicken for you to eat.
If it weren't for you, I would still be lost in the bowels of my building.

Went to Ikea in Coquitlam. Correction: tried to go to Ikea and got lost and ended up at Home Depot and then went to Ikea. I dropped $900 on a bed, rug, a couple of stools and the aforementioned chest of drawers. By the time we got back it was too late to do any serious assembling, which was really hard to take because I WANT TO GET THIS DONE. My bed is on the floor, my underwear is currently residing in a backpack and I've got random things strewn everywhere. I feel really disorganized and chaotic. It doesn't take much.
Okay, so this blog is going to jump all over the place. I forgot to tell you how the morning started. I thought Michael and I could figure out the lack of hot water in the shower, but we could not. We're both smart people, but after taking the handle off we couldn't figure it out, so I called my realtor, who called the selling realtor who called the... original owner. Who said he would come over to take a look at it! So I was weirded out the they guy that I just gave a substantial amount of money to was going to be coming over to play in my tub. Who was he? What was he thinking? Why was he coming personally? Michael and I debated as to what kind of guy he might be and then he, Chris, showed up. Yeah. The guy as like, twelve. Seriously. Boy wonder was younger than me. I was like, "Er. Been doing this long?" and he said he'd been at it for a couple of years. I suppose that would take him back to his prepubescent years?? Chris and I come into the apartment and I arch an eyebrow in Michael's general direction (he was in the linen closet, installing more shelving). He mouthed, "Do you want me to leave you two alone?". So, so funny. Come on. What would I want with a young, wealthy, virile, handy, tall, unshaven... something. What? Oh. Right. I left and did some grocery shopping. Chris fixed the hot water situation and said that the plate surrounding the shower knob needed caulking and that he would give me a call this week to do that. More sly grins from Michael. Caulking is too easy.
Then Ikea. I want to put my bed together! Now! The Ikea diagrams actually show two people working on it. Teamwork. I try to be self reliant but these past few days have shown me just how much I need people to help me with stuff sometimes. Remember the car alarm incident? I think that day single-handedly espoused the virtuous nature of people around me. Everyone stopped to help me (three times!) that day, and not one of them left until they had managed to turn the alarm off. I did, however, assemble the majority of the stools myself. And I sawed a couple of things, too. Michael was like, "Good job!" as he hand screwed things into metal studs. I could totally do that. And I offered possible explanations for the tepid water situation: "It's Walkerton all over again" and "there are gremlins in the water lines" and "I think god hates me and wants me to take more cold showers".
Okay. Trying to wrap it up with some witticism, but am falling short. I'm tired. I haven't had any down time in days. I want things to look pretty. I'm going to upload a picture of the stools I bought, my nana's clock (cause it's bitchin'), a picture that shows a bit of couch, a bit of my new rug and the really heavy baskets I had to carry (WTF am I supposed to do with my stupid, antiquated t.v.?), and the ever-illuminating Ikea picture which dissuaded me from trying to assemble Hopen on my own.
Here's Hopen Chris will come by for some caulking this week. Ahhh.... there's the banter that ties it all together.