I think it's better to miss someone immediately, like you're doing now. The feelings are right there. The memories are so clear and everything that you miss is tangible.
My dad died of a slow moving cancer when I was 22. We had issues that we hadn't worked out and, stupidly, we didn't while we had the chance. I "sorta" missed him at the time but I had no real deep emotional attachment. It was more like a "that's too bad but shit happens" attitude.
It wasn't until I had my first kid, at 28, did I realize what I'd lost. My dad never really saw me as an adult (at 22, I was a dud). My wife and kids never knew him and all that they can go on is my memories. I never realized or appreciated who he was and what his life was about. My grief is long lasting and I never had the "real" catharsis because I'm too far away from it now.
Saying that you're lucky, is foolish. You're not lucky, you're in the shit right now and the pain/longing is palpable. One day, you will know what I'm trying to say. Maybe relatively lucky, is a better way to put it.
7 comments:
Awwwww. Chin up.
I think it's better to miss someone immediately, like you're doing now. The feelings are right there. The memories are so clear and everything that you miss is tangible.
My dad died of a slow moving cancer when I was 22. We had issues that we hadn't worked out and, stupidly, we didn't while we had the chance. I "sorta" missed him at the time but I had no real deep emotional attachment. It was more like a "that's too bad but shit happens" attitude.
It wasn't until I had my first kid, at 28, did I realize what I'd lost. My dad never really saw me as an adult (at 22, I was a dud). My wife and kids never knew him and all that they can go on is my memories. I never realized or appreciated who he was and what his life was about. My grief is long lasting and I never had the "real" catharsis because I'm too far away from it now.
Saying that you're lucky, is foolish. You're not lucky, you're in the shit right now and the pain/longing is palpable. One day, you will know what I'm trying to say. Maybe relatively lucky, is a better way to put it.
I'm having a Halloween party on November 1st. Drop by. Don't leave Michael at home either.
Here's the actual invitation
http://drop.io/x8cl8ul
p.s
I feel exactly the same way about my mother's death as God does.
Exactly.
Minus the having kids, etc. But the rest is spot on.
Thanks guys. I see where you are both coming from. It could be much more complicated and lonely than it is, and I'm glad it's not.
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