I was a bitch. I admit it.

Been a while. Check. Check. This thing still on?
Michael and I returned to Tofino for his niece's wedding. I guess she's my niece too. We returned for our niece's wedding. Katie. Oh my god. She was always my favourite niece. Can I say that? Is it wrong to say that? And Adam? I had my doubts but I liked him the day I met him: hardworking; funny; open; honest.
So we go back to the Island and maybe the living arrangements weren't the best where we were staying. I mean, brilliant backdrop - right on Chesterman Beach - and beautiful house, but we were sharing it with some of Adam's friends from Australia who, granted, wanted to party. Until 3:30 in the morning. In the living room. Adjacent to our room. Fun times!
I was a huge loser growing up? Strike that: I am still a loser? And I think I've been to like, one or two house parties in my life? But this was full on, all weekend. Everyone in Tofino under the age of 35 was partying at our place Friday, Saturday and Sunday night.
Um, it may be surprising, but I'm socially stunted, like my "alone time" and am easily overwhelmed. I didn't realize that this was going to be the set up. So I would sneak away a lot and just sit in my room. And drink wine. Alone. Please don't tell my therapist.
Anyways. During the weekend I was overwhelmed, had PMS and was sleep deprived. I was not the best company. I mean, I'm never the best company, but fundamentally I thought Michael was going to leave me when we returned but he didn't so... that's interesting.
The wedding was cold and wet but beautiful. Sometimes you can tell when people are just absolutely enamoured with others and Adam is absolutely enamoured with Katie. Just stricken with love.
It was great to see so many people from Michael's family that I haven't seen in ages. He has a beautiful, happy, well adjusted family. Not sure how I rocked into it.
Oh, oh: best story? One of the bridesmaids (I wasn't around at this point) asked Michael how old he was. He didn't want to say so one of his relatives asked her to guess. She guessed he was 31. He's 45. She told him he had beautiful skin. She was very beautiful and pleasant and funny and was smokin' hot in her bridesmaid dress.
I guess Michael is with me for the witty banter?
By the end of the weekend I as a bit of an automaton. Slept in my car on the ferry ride home. Michael's sister and mom came back with us and slept at his place and he crashed with me. This is my first night alone since last Thursday night.
I didn't handle it well. It was no one's fault. Everyone was happy and putting on a smiling face and I just can't fake it (or maybe they were actually genuinely happy: perish the thought!). I'm a cranky, cantankerous bitch that likes to be alone. Hi Dad!
I guess after 11 years they've accepted that, but I am remorseful that I wasn't more easy going and that I didn't try harder. I know that when you try hard to be happy Karma works in your favour. Happiness begets happiness.
I was glad that Katie and Adam had us, though. What a beautiful couple and what stunning surroundings. I hope marriage and their impending baby makes them supremely happy. They have the right attitude.
In news not related to Tofino or weddings: some family emergencies. Some family drama. Michael snores a lot. My physio is giving me the green light for Chicago.
Why do I get so uptight in situations that I can't control?
Oh my god! I just saved an assload of money! I get anxious and cranky in situations that I can't control.
And my therapist would say: "Why do you feel the need to control the situation? What happens if you let go of the reigns?".
And my massage therapist would say: "What is going on in here?"