Pinnacle

So this weekend was the third and final weekend of running 10 miles on Saturday and 20 miles on Sunday.
I can't express how eager I was to get this weekend over and done and to begin my taper.
I ran my 10 miles on Saturday at race pace like Hal Higdon said and I felt good. I had taken the Friday off and eaten a cheeseburger with bacon and then had strawberry shortcake for dessert because those two items are scientifically proven to make you run faster. Then I sat on my ass and watched "Scott Pilgrim versus the World" (awesome) and "Raising Arizona" (meh) and drank no small amount of Gatorade before going to bed.
Sunday I had decided to run in Kits, doing about 7 miles on my own and picking up Michael for the remaining 13. I was feeling good when I met my mom and Michael for an impromptu aid station at my father's bench on the water. Off we went and I was feeling good 12 miles in, and 15 miles in and at 16 miles I said "If I'm still feeling this good in half an hour I will be amazed".
Finished strong, with some fuel in the tank and a couple of minutes under the three hours I had allotted myself. I am so pleased that the final push weekend was such a good one for me. I was also happy that my mom and Michael could be a part of it and helped me out so much. 20 milers can be goddamned long and lonely.
It was a pinnacle in other ways as well.
For example: for years I have kept secret the fact that my housekeeper had borne my illegitimate son, and I realize the hurt that has been imposed upon those I love.
Furthermore, I seek attention and validation from people that don't know me intimately, nor care, ultimately, about my well being. Ex-fat girl says what?
Additionally, I realize I spend a lot of time in a state of anxiety about the future. This is, obviously, pointless and a massive waste of time. Certainly you can control the future to some extent, but ultimately you cannot gauge what the next hour will bring and so be here, Now.
Case in point: I showed up for today's massage appointment with Carradine at 5:30. Well, apparently it's Caradean and that's a guy's name. Who knew?
Here and Now, baby.
Now.
Now.
Now.