Good good good

Drinks with Typewriter tonight.

I've burned all of the bridges with all my exes: ex-lovers; ex-boyfriends. Done.

I still talk to him, though.

He asked how I was and I did my typical "allow me to gaze over your left shoulder while I answer because I'm not yet ready for eye contact yet" bit.

I said I was doing well. I have a four day work week. I run marathons for fun and in the last year I've been to Seattle, Boston, Vegas and Penticton for various pleasure pursuits.

I'm not chasing the things I used to chase.

He's doing well. He is very much in love. There is talk of babies and of spending lives together and about that point in a relationship where you find yourself considering things that, perhaps, you might not have considered heretofore.

I'm happy with this.

Life doesn't have to be an adversarial monkey knife-fight.

Sometimes life can be a couple of glasses of wine in a dive bar where they start to play Wintersleep's "Weighty Ghost" enough to get you engaged before switching the sound track to something infinitely less stellar.

I ran 10k before I went out. I was up towards the entrance to UBC, looking at the downtown skyline and the ocean and the lights and I was just so happy. Happy that it wasn't raining. Happy that I deigned to run instead of read. Happy for the view and the ability to slide in a quick 10k before 8 o'clock. Happy for the impromptu convo I had with a man from Ottawa in an elevator that isn't mine in a building in which I don't live. For the book that I am reading (while listening to CBC 2's The Signal) which I won't have finished in time for book club, though I am infinitely grateful for the very existence of book club in the first place and I feel badly that I wasn't diligent enough to finish the book in time while at the same time I am cognisant of the fact that it is a very small percentage of the world that can consider this a conundrum.

Sometimes? I have minor panic attacks when I realize how wrapped up I've been in my own head to fail to appreciate what is going on around me, and I think it might be taken from me before I can enjoy it to its full potential.