I just finished watching "Love in the Time of Cholera".I'm sure the book is good.
The movie, on the other hand, has left me feeling somewhat... perplexed and, um, enraged. "How long would you wait for love?"??? How long would you wait before throwing your popcorn at the screen and walking out!
This movie sucked so badly (27% rating on Rotten Tomatoes) that I'm not even sure where to begin.
My main concern was whether or not this movie came after "No Country for Old Men" which is a fucking fantastic movie and blew my mind and I need to watch again and buy and covet and love. It is no surprise, because it's a Coen brothers movie and they did my all time favourite movie "The Big Lebowski" which, if you haven't seen, is a goddamn masterpiece.
But back to my main concern about the timing of this movie in conjunction with "No Country for Old Men": they both came out in 2007. And Javier did recover nicely with his subsequent film "Vicky Cristina Barcelona" (Woody Allen), a movie that made me want to have sweaty, raunchy, grasping and vigorous sex with Bardem. As well as Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johansson.
I did not feel that way about him in the movie at hand. In fact, I wanted to walk into the movie, carrying that captive bolt pistol used in "No Country" and press against his anguished, tormented and ceaselessly whinging character and end it.
The makeup sucked.
The plot was lost.
I didn't like anyone except for the crazy widow that he fucked because she was a nutter and a bit of screamer.
It was over two hours long.
I think the two main characters were maybe contemplating mutual suicide at the end, in their seventies, and they should've done everyone a tremendous favor and offed themselves in their twenties so I could have spent more time doing things that are interesting, like jerking off, eating rice crackers and balancing my chequebook.
Good Christ.
I guess, karmically speaking, there has to be one "Love in the Time of Cholera" for every "L'Age des Tenebres": it can't all be good.
And maybe I should learn to turn off movies (especially ones that I didn't pay for - thank god) that suck instead of witnessing their overall horribleness and then wondering why anyone got paid any amount of money to have anything to do with the goddamned thing.
That's all I got.
6 comments:
A great review of what not to watch. You entertain me to no end.
You make me so thankful I haven't seen it.... something about the name didn't strike me as being entertaining. (Cholera... brings up the thought of heaving and running to the toilet) I LOVE Javier... I'm going to name my next son Javier. Yes b/c he's sexy but mostly because it starts with J and then because Javier Cruzan has such a fantastic ring to it. Hopefully a name like that can get those Cruzan Rum royalty checks coming in, b/c God knows none of our names have worked.
Yeah. Movies with the word "cholera" in them are probably not destined for greatness.
read the book freak
Ok... who's Anno talking too? Should I have said I love the NAME Javier?
Thanks for your illuminating insight, Anon.
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