Skipped the clinic to run on my own. Been a bit antisocial lately, not sure why. Working seems to be putting me in a bad mood. On the flip side, new job induced stress makes me run fast. I banged off over 7 miles in about 55 minutes. Keith? I conquered it, baby. Grind, grind, grind. I pulled in 7:5o minute miles tonight.Then I finished watching the "Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason". What a crap movie. I actually just got interrupted by an hour long phone call while writing this blog (it was Michael) and I gave him the rant that I was going to posit here, so the wind has kind of been taken out of my sails. Long story short: if I had a 14 year old daughter she would not watch this movie. The relationship expectations were out of this world. It wasn't romantic: it was a borderline farce. Gad. I'm too tired to rant. Grrrr...
Anyways. A fun hour long conversation about the appropriate behaviour that should be exhibited between members of the opposite sex that aren't dating (or that once dated but no longer are). I think I've really gone from one end of the spectrum to the other. See, when I was in my late teens I believed in marriage. Then I flipped and opposed it. Then I met Michael and I believed it in again. Now I abhor it. Not only do I abhor it, but I don't like the concept of quasi 'ownership' and I think that we should all do whatever the hell we want because life is short and we might get hit by a bus tomorrow (funny story: I almost hit a bus this morning. Actually, it was less funny and more absolutely terrifying, but hey - I'm still here). I don't want to stand in the way of anyone's happiness.
I question monogamy, as well.
Actually, I pretty much question everything. Remember the days of black and w
hite? God, it was so easy then. Not so much now.
hite? God, it was so easy then. Not so much now.Ha. I'm a fucking accountant. Jesus Christ.
Also, here is the weird story of the day (yes, it involves running). Michael says to me "Okay, I have an idea for this weekend and I want to know what you think" and I say "I have an idea for this weekend too!". My idea was that we could run the two bridges on Saturday (about 15 or 16 miles) and then run with the clinic on Sunday (12 miles). So he says "I was thinking we could run the two bridges on Saturday-". Yeah. Great minds think alike. So it looks like we'll be running a marathon this weekend, but it'll be over two days. I think if we take it slow and easy on Saturday we'll be fine for the 12 miler on Sunday (which is supposed to be fast).
It's really easy to say that now, on my oiupth glass of wine.
10 comments:
I absolutely cannot agree with anything but monogamy if in a relationship where you truly love that person. It would absolutely kill me to have the person I love making love/sex/whatever to another person.
However, I am a higher being. Most people are not. They fuck around for reasons beyond me.
Give me the monog, or nothing at all.
Screwing a myraid of people is not good.
Love is so precious, so fucking precious.
p.s I like the red colour on your other blog and I see you got a comment from an 'author'.
But that still doesn't make monogamy okay.
I hate that shit.
I really do.
Screwing around.
Why do folks crave it?
It's an ego thing.
When the guy I love, who recently,like 3 hours ago, said, 'I'm trying to find myself after 20 years with another chick'(dumb move, dumb thing to say to me..dohhhhhhh) screwed that bitch in the bay, he did it, I am sure, for the ego trip.
Uh, love. I have the best to give. The best. And the sex is even better. And I never, ever, ever feel attracted to another if I am with somebody else who I love. Never, ever ever. It's not a looks thing for me, anyway. It's total personality and so I don't do the usual guy thing and break a neck bone doing a whiplash look at a hot chick or whatever.
I have almost given up with this love thing.
This means I might become a cheap floozy who just fcks, or nothing at all.
I hope your mum doesn't read this post.
I knew you would post about this and that you would be pro-monogamy. And I have no qualms with that if both people are all about the monogamy.
But. I don't think that sex and love go hand in hand all the time. The fact that about 1/4 of people are fucking around needs to be contemplated.
As does the ratio of banana chips to nuts and dried fruit in my trail mix.
Yeah. My mom has prettty much given up on the blog.
Maybe screwing around is an ego thing, but maybe it's also a human nature thing and I think that it's definitely a best-case scenario if you're in a relationship where you don't have to entertain the thought.
But. If it does happen then I guess there's room for discussion.
I guess my point is: when did sex become so precious? I'm not trying to be facetious, seriously.
I'm just struggling with the ownership aspect of it and I would, in the long run, be happier knowing that my partner had experienced different things and returned to me (should he feel the need to do this) than not be given the opportunity to explore anything because I was uncomfortable with it.
If that makes any sense whatsoever.
And yes, it's way easier to theorize about it than to have to entertain the reality of it. Armchair philosophy is easy.
If screwing around does happen, then it's not a good relationship and it's not love and so therefore go seek elsewhere.
Uh, I hate infidelity. I really do.
It's a major pet peeve.
I would rather be alone and have respect for myself and the wonderful love I have to give but am unable to give because of fickle humans, than be with somebody and have to endure the fickleness.
It makes me sick.
Totally sick.
Sorry, but this and forkbiting are my major gripes with being a human and I think it's uncool to be one of those polygamy people cos I have known them and they suck usually; ego, blah, coldhearted.
Sex without love doesn't do it for me. I can't orgasm. I need to be in love to orgasm. Simple as that. And sex without a big o, well, it's not worth it.
I might as well go birdwatching instead.
I'm going to save space and go with everything Maria says. The hubby and I both experienced cheating spouses in previous marriages and it was something we discussed a lot before getting married. It's kind of that 'do unto others' philosophy I don't want him screwing around on me so I don't screw around on him and vis versa. But like Maria says, when you truly love that person then you don't have eyes or wants for others. The day that we don't have loving feelings toward each other then we'll discuss going our separate ways. But if you go into a relationship with the notion 'I can go look for strange in a month or so' then why bother getting into that relationship. Unless of course the partner you pick feels the same way you do. It's all about letting the ego go and communicating with your partner. BTW hubby and I are working on 28 years.
So much for saving space.
Interesting points, all. I think though, that monogamy is also a way of controlling another's sexuality. If two people both agree to monogamy and that's what works for them, fine. But I don't think that one person has the moral authority to limit another's sexual freedoms. If you try to do that then the other person will likely do it anyways, and then lie about it.
Again, it's an individual choice, but I think that the alternatives need to be explored a little more instead of being dismissed entirely, because a hell of a lot of people are looking for action outside their relationships. If there wasn't some driving force behind it then it wouldn't be happening.
And, let's say my partner went outside the relationship and ended up falling in love with this other person and wanted to leave me for them. Excluding the fact that I would be disappointed and dismal over it, it's the best case scenario for him, he would be happier (possibly) with this new direction in his life, and if I had limited him in this regard he wouldn't have had this opportunity.
I actually think it's the opposite of ego.
And also the theory of things and what one puts into practice are two quite different things, for sure.
I understand what you are saying, but that goes back to communication. If two people go into a relationship with open conversation about their wants and needs and they are both good with whatever the wants and needs are (relationships outside the union or not) then that's great. But if one of them isn't, then that one will end up hurt by the other one's actions. So it's best those wants and needs are discussed in the beginning and the relationship ended before it gets started if there is a conflict in interest. Why hurt someone that you care about, just be open and honest. If it doesn't work out it wasn't meant to be.
And I don't think monogamy is a way to control someone's sexuality, I think it's two people being able to trust each other and know that their partner truly cares about their feelings, needs and desires.
Personally I have never felt trapped, hobbled or stifled in the past 27 years of monogamy. And it truly does get better with time.
To each his own. I am surly not the judge and jury on this one. Sexual preference goes for more than just gender.
I'm also going to save space and go with jomamma's last comment.
If you are looking for something more in your relationship, then get out of it.
Interesting piece of news over in Oz today and which might make guys think twice about screwing around on their wives.....mistresses will now be considered like commonlaw-wives and the guys will have to pay up for childcare and other stuff.
Oz has been strict like this for years. If you are in a relationship with somebody for longer than 11 months and then you split up, even if you didn't get married, then property etc has to be split down the middle. I know a bloke who lost his boat because of this clause.
Makes you afraid to date Down Under, heh.
Love with monogamy. That's my dream. That or nothing at all.
Men who sleep around on their women totally lose my respect in a flash.
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