I think I have to throw away my shoes, and other stupid stories

"Let's go for a hike" I said. And we did. We went rambling off into the mountains at like 2:10pm, on a trail that we'd never done before up in the British Properties. We hiked for a while, came to a cool bridge with a creek surging under it and then I looked at my watch and it was 3:30 and it dawned on me that we were going to be screwed if we didn't book it out the woods right quick. Cause, um, it gets dark by 5pm now.
So we tried to keep it light and jokey, but the woods were dark and foggy and we started to run where the trail wasn't too technically challenging and all I was wearing were my Privos and they are thrashed. I think I may have to throw them out. It was so wet up there. Some of the trails were old creek beds which were, um, kind of in use and after the third big splash I gave up and just started running through all kinds of mud and water.
God. It was too funny. I'm skidding all over the place, Michael is twisting his ankle left, right and centre and we're running out of daylight. The trail was a bit iffy at certain parts in broad daylight! We would've been hooped if we had been stuck there in the dark.
We make it back to the car and laugh our asses off. I said, "that was a total Gordie moment", cause that's something my dad would've done.
Then, totally covered in mud and making squishing noises as we walked, we went to Extra Foods to do a little grocery shopping. We looked like bush people. It was awesome.
Anyways, I'm gonna get some of the mud out of my ears and then I'm going to watch television and chill at Michael's. I haven't seen "The Simpsons" or "Family Guy" or "American Dad" in ages. I'm looking forward to it.
What a gong show.