Ha ha. Work Husband said to me, “When you say ‘Not all of the above is true’ on your blog do you mean everything, or just some of it?”. Allow me to clarify:
One time my brother got a cod stuck to his jacket. I love farmed salmon. I peed on a BC Lion. A horse bit me. I proposed marriage via text (after consuming much wine). I waved at Princess Di and Prince Charles. A cast member from the X-Files touched my bum. I question my relationship with Michael. I made front page of the local news when I was in elementary school. My brother was attacked by a guinea hen. I touched wieners with my cousin (10 points to anyone that gets that). I kissed a girl. I don’t trust garbage chutes. Tucker Carlson is hot. Cinnamon Dentyne gum burns my mouth. I saw Carole McNeil at the CBC building and I was all atwitter. I stuck gum under someone’s car door handle. During a particularly bumpy flight I yelled “We’re all going to die!” When a male coworker asked me why I was leaving work earlier, I told him I was going to get a pap smear. I made a purchase of solely wine and condoms at a Safeway in the States. I dropped a bowling ball off my balcony.
Not all of the above is true.
4 comments:
That bit about the gum was a lie, wasn't it.
Ha ha ha. Love the gum under the door handle.
I also once said the 'we're all gonna die' whilst drunk on a plane once.
Actually, the gum bit was true. I was out having lunch with a couple of girlfriends and when we came out we found that someone had parked in front of her and had backed up so close that it took us forever to get out with all the cranking and reversing and so I put my gum under their door handle to punish them for their ignorance.
True: I am a vindictive bitch.
I love you woman!!!! I can be a vindictive bitch too. I just had a run in with a guy in the grocery parking lot he backed 6 spaces to whip into the space I was about to park in. So when I saw him walk away from his basket I moved it to the end of the isle and around the corner. I wish I could have seen him when he turned around and his cart was gone. hehehehe.
Ha! That's awesome.
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