I just saw a pirate. Or Ignatius J. Reilly.

Still trembling from the stilts mishap, I boarded the seabus. Cute guy sitting across from. My attention was increasingly being distracted from the shit crap article about how Rudy Giuliani single-handedly saved New York from crime, disease, poverty, violence, drugs and prostitution. He had kind of rumpled, hippy-ish, long curly hair and I don't think he was wearing socks. He had great hands. And forearms. I'm big on hands. Hands are a bit of a thing with me.
Anyways, we get off the seabus (after - mid voyage - I had done my booty shake) and I decided to hoof it up the hill. He took off with his skateboard. Oh, did I not mention that he was like twenty and I'm a cougar? Anywho, about five minutes later he comes flying around this corner and I look up and recognize him and he recognizes me (you know, from that stellar fifteen minute seabus ride we had so intimately shared) and shoots me this beautific smile. I smiled back (and could feel tendons snapping and stretching) and thought, "That guy is a lady killer". So hot. Made my day.
And then, as I continued along, I passed a guy dressed like a pirate. At first I was like, "Oh, that guy has an eye-patch: that sucks" and then I was like, "Hmm, if I had an eye-patch I don't think I would wear a red and white horizontally striped shirt". Then I saw the pirate boots and cap. He smiled at me too, naturally.
Anyways, getting ready for that architectural lecture. Michael said we need to dress up like avant garde artists. I know my glasses are avant garde, but I'm not sure about the hat. I think this hat may be hippy or bohemian. Goddamnit, I'm getting my stereotypes mixed up.
The point is, I can't wear them both at the same time because I look like a Unibomber (and my pea head is too small to successfully don both hat and specs).